me with my American friend part 2
me: hey American friend i bought this football for you
American friend: *stops playing the banjo and cleaning their guns and drinking their soda* Oh y’all know me too well I love them good ol’ sports hell yeah
378. A muggleborn with a swearing problem comes into the school, and the story ends with a high-class pureblood addressing their ‘nemesis’ as, “Listen here, you bitch-ass motherfucker.”
you can tell scott attended the school for derek hale’s werewolf school for werewolves who wanna werewolf real good
youneedmetosurvive asked: Sterek headcanon for when Derek is drunk (I love drunk!Derek ok)
omg you and me both, my friend. ALL the drunk Derek.
This is probably quite similar to Goda’s headcanon but what can I say?
Before anyone sees Derek drunk they all have this assumption/fear that he’s going to be an angry, grumpy drunk. Stiles jokes about hiding the sharp implements. But…
Derek gets sloppy and slow, languid, he’s like a cat where he sprawls, body morphing to whatever shape he’s lying on…the couch, the beanbag Stiles gets for the corner of the loft…Stiles.
He actually sprawls across Stiles on the floor when the pack puts on a movie, the couch and the love seat and the aforementioned beanbag taken. Stiles is spread out on the floor and Derek just settles himself against him, coos into his ear and laughs hysterically, ducking his head into the crook his neck.
Everyone’s looking at each other like they’ve stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone. Stiles just lays there, Derek a heavy floppy weight on his back, from his shoulders to where his groin fits snug against his ass, even their feet are tangled together.
"I don’t know how I feel about this," Stiles tells him, and Derek shimmies until Stiles’ eyes widen in surprise at the hardness pressed there.
"Okay, I’m feeling something."
"It’s my penis," Derek stage whispers.